If you’re a member of the military community, you know all too well the variety of struggles that the lifestyle can bring.
But the tragedies Ashlynne Haycock has experienced go well beyond the norm — and how she has dealt with them can be an inspiration to us all.
As Bonnie Carroll, founder of Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors put it, Haycock harnessed her pain, saw a need and took action.
Her father, Army Sgt. 1st Class Jeffrey Haycock, died while preparing for a deployment in 2002, when she was just 10 years old.
Then her mother died during the last week of her sophomore year in college, creating a “monetary struggle” and “paperwork nightmare” to continue in school.
She had cobbled together a combination of VA benefits and financial aid. But when her mother died, much of her financial aid disappeared because of her independent filing status, and because she had no one to co-sign loans. The 19-year-old student, who had participated in TAPS grief camps for children, called that organization. TAPS helped connect her with the nonprofit Children for Fallen Patriots, which approved education grants for Haycock.
While searching for scholarships, Haycock and Carroll realized there is no one place where surviving families can go to get information about scholarships and education benefits available from federal, state and private sources. “In Bonnie Carroll fashion, she told me to come up with a solution for the problem,” Haycock said.
That is, after all, what Carroll did when she founded TAPS after her husband, Army Brig. Gen. Tom Carroll, died in a military plane crash in 1992.
When she graduated from American University in 2013, Haycock was hired by TAPS. Her solution is now a reality; the group’s new survivors’ education assistance program helps link families to scholarships and education benefits, offering one-on-one guidance through the maze, as well as an online portal at www.taps.org/edu/.
“She really jumped in on this,” said Carroll. “She wrote all the briefing papers to VA. She drafted a memorandum of understanding outlining how TAPS and VA could collaborate on a solution. It was very well done. She’s way beyond her chronological years in wisdom and maturity.”
Maureen Casey, managing director of military and veterans affairs for JPMorgan Chase, which helped fund the project, said she admires Haycock’s strength and drive. “Those of us twice your age could learn a lot from you,” she said.
The project “was tremendously empowering” for Haycock, Carroll said. “For her to go through that tremendously difficult time with her education, now she’s determined to make sure no other kids go through it.”
Tabitha Bonilla started working with Haycock earlier this year on the survivors’ education assistance program. She had previously worked with surviving children and families through the Children of Fallen Patriots organization, after receiving scholarship money from them when she was having trouble paying for college. Her father, Army Sgt. 1st Class Henry Bacon, was killed in Iraq in 2005. Then 11 months later, her husband, Army Capt. Orlando Bonilla, was killed in Iraq.
She went back to college with the help of VA funds and private scholarships, but her private funds ran out in her last semester and she got a bill for $12,000. Now, she said, it is gratifying to work with surviving families who are often reluctant to ask for help. “You feel a kindred spirit with them. I know what these families have been through,” Bonilla said.
Haycock, now 23, clearly has a passion for helping others avoid the problems she faced in funding her education — especially when there are so many programs available to help, if one only knows how to find and access them.
What makes a child turn personal pain into productive passion? Maybe it’s something in their DNA, passed down from their loved ones. Surely it’s also often about a strong desire to honor those loved ones — as Haycock did, and continues to do.
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